


Let Me Find You Out

by Neffectual



Series: 104 Reasons to Stay Alive [8]
Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Anal Sex, Angst, Cock Worship, Daddy Kink, Exhibitionism, Face-Fucking, Happy Ending, M/M, Rimming, Sharing, love and adoration, orisor inspired
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-21
Updated: 2014-07-21
Packaged: 2018-02-09 18:47:01
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,183
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1993863
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Neffectual/pseuds/Neffectual
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Erwin Smith is an open book to the whole of the corps - but the bigest secret he hides is Levi.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Let Me Find You Out

**Author's Note:**

> Anais Mitchell's 'Namesake' was both the title and inspiration for this. Written at 4am whilst coming down from morphine. Let me know if there are any errors which need fixing.
> 
> I'd be a fool to suggest that the boys I adore did not inspire this.

_Everybody knows you,_  
 _I wanna know you._  
 _How you roll like the rolling waters,_  
 _You rise like the bright morning stars._  
 _You go fast like the freight train going so fast,_  
 _And I don't even know who you are._  
 _But I would not disappoint you if you let me kiss your mouth,_  
 _If you let me get to the bottom of you,  
_ _If you let me find you out._

 

Erwin always says he doesn’t have any secrets, and the biggest of the secrets he doesn’t have is Levi.

To the main body of the corps, Erwin Smith is an open book, striding shirtless to the training rounds with a group of new recruits who need a little bit of hands on time with their commander before they can dredge up respect for him, the rest of the corps knowing that the man who masterminds all of their forays outside the wall is also the man who laughs with them at dinner, and will cry at their funerals. There are a few who are old enough, who have lasted long enough to remember the boy before the man, the young, handsome captain who fucked his way through all his subordinates in hurried motion, who bit his lower lip out of worry over those he had been buried inside of merely hours before. There are those who know the way it feels to have him inside them, the way he kisses like he’s trying to set fire to the world, the way he closes his eyes and the face he makes when he comes. There are still those who remember what Erwin was, before he was everything he is now.

Levi is not one of them; even then, Erwin was careful around him, edgy, uneasy, as if he knew that this would not be a fuck he would be able to forget and get over, but an addictive taste which would keep him coming back for more. In the end, when Erwin came to Levi, he was desperate, needy, begging, and Levi gave him no quarter, no hand, simply watched as his commanding officer fucked his own fist and came on Levi’s clean floor, as Levi called him a whore and a slut, and told him just what he deserved. Since then, Levi has been the one with his hands on the reins, the one with his finger on the pulse and his mouth greedily opening under Erwin’s, he has been the last one the commander has taken to his bed, has been the last person to see that face screwed up in pleasure and pain as he takes Levi to the hilt. The old guard know who Erwin was, and they know who has made him the man he is today, who has made him stronger and faster, and more likely to give his all for a battle plan. Protecting a lover is a powerful motive.

Erwin has not quite grown out of his need to be wanted, to be desired, as known by the shirtless escapes to train the recruits, or the times when he bathes with the door open, as if begging to be interrupted. There are few things which Levi would not indulge his commander in, and this is not one of them, the corps know, because certain rooms are off limits, certain corridors are not used at certain times. But when the new recruits walk past, and find themselves stopping and staring at Erwin’s strong back as he pounds Levi into the wall, or the way Levi looks up at Erwin reverently as he blows him, the bruises which Erwin sucks into Levi’s pale skin, marring him with new scars which bloom purple-red before fading to sickly yellow. Levi doesn’t care if anyone sees them in the those moments, his throat working to swallow his lover down, fighting every half inch against his gag reflex, and letting tears trickle out of his eyes. He doesn’t care if anyone hears them as he lies across Erwin’s lap and begs for just one more spank, please Daddy, please, writhing to get some sort of friction as Erwin brings his hand down again and again, turning Levi’s arse red and hot, before he kisses the sting away. He doesn’t care when Erwin lifts him easily in the mess hall, throwing him over his shoulder and calling him a bad little boy, before pressing him against the wall just outside and making everyone at dinner listen to the way he screams as Erwin licks into him mercilessly.

Levi must share the public persona, too, must stand next to his lover and listen to the higher ups chastise him for the soldiers lost, for the ground lost, for the missions fought and failed. He must stand there and not skin the bastards alive for the pain they etch onto Erwin’s skin, and once they are gone, before they are even out of earshot, Levi is on his knees, licking and sucking at Erwin’s cock until he’s hard, before proceeding to worship every inch, driving himself onwards and swallowing past the dick in his throat until he lets Erwin come on his face, and licks off the residue. He returns to laving those heavy balls with his tongue until he can coax Erwin to hardness again, no matter how long it takes, before he lets his lover fuck into him, wherever they are, parade ground or private rooms. He howls and cries and sobs, raking nails down Erwin’s back hard enough to leave purple splotches of bruise under the rich red lines where he marks his commander. Levi gives Erwin what he needs, without fail, and through that, gains what he needs, too.

Most of the corps has seen Erwin naked, Levi knows this, and many of them know what it is to be fucked by him, too. There are no places on his body which are a secret, there are no pieces of him which are strictly Levi’s, or anything which Levi can teach him, could help him to learn. Nothing but what is in Levi’s eyes when he looks up, mouth stuffed full and struggling to swallow against his throat’s reflex, eyes red-rimmed with unshed tears at the strain. It’s worship, plain and simple; Levi laid bare for Erwin’s hands, his mouth, his cock, for every split second of time and space which Erwin will give him, because Levi knows that he could take it away, too. So Erwin’s body is known, his kisses learned, his touches shared freely between those who are strangers and those who know him well, and there is nothing Levi can do to change this. But when he is wrapped close in Erwin’s arms, when Erwin kisses his brow and whispers about love, Levi knows that this, this is something which is just for him, something which is all his, and that this is the most precious gift Erwin could give him.

Many people may have known Erwin, may have had him and tasted him and wanted him. But Levi is the only one who gets to love him.

**Author's Note:**

> I guess this is a little bit about what it's like to be a virgin with a lover who has far more experience, or to be with someone who was your first, but you are simply the last among many. And the importance placed there, that you are the last, that you remain the last, and that as long as they love you, you will be the last one they touch.
> 
> I guess it's also about how you share your lover with the world, and how some of us have to share more than we might wish to, whether that be body, be image, be voice or hands. In one way or another, we all have to share our partners with others, but we have to console ourselves that we are the one they return to each night.
> 
> All the power belongs to the one who keeps the other from straying.


End file.
